Sharp-tongued friends

Today is one of those days that I feel so emotional about everything. Blame it on the hormones maybe?

Just recently, One of my officemates and I went out on a Friday night for a few drinks. We went to this bar somewhere in Greenbelt. Upon entering the bar, I saw a familiar face, a face I haven't seen personally before. I've seen that face in facebook, that person is a friend of one of my officemates turned friend. I didn't mind that person since we don't know each other personally. My companion knows that person for they were introduced before. But still, she didn't managed to go to their table and say hi (my officemate is a really shy girl, sometimes). Neither they went to our table. So we drink, eat, talk about everything. Having a really bionic ears, I suddenly hear the person with a familiar face blurt out that he's not like my friend (who also happen to be his friend). I was shocked, he was talking to his companion in a low voice all the time, and suddenly blurted those phrases so loud. He said it in a manner that whoever may hear those words will think that my friend is a whore, a flirt, or someone so bad and gruesome. That very moment, I felt that my friend has been violated. I immediately sent my friend a text message about what I heard. My friend didn't replied. I asked my companion if she heard those words, but she didn't, she don't have bionic ears like mine. I told her what I heard and we both blurted out our "OHMYGOSH!". She too can't believe that our friend's friend was able to say those words. Before that night, our friend has already told us stories about that that friend is such a person whom anyone shouldn't be friends with because of that person's backstabbing ability. It was proven to me that night.

With that experience, I remembered my own fair share of backstabbing friends. I was in high school then, I was part of a group of people who loves gossip (everyone loves gossip I suppose). But not only that, my group of friends that time was so fond of talking about other people and making up stories about them. Little did I know, when I'm not with them, I am the subject of their backstabbing. In high school, I was so naive that I didn't cared for anything except for my friends and my studies. I didn't mind what other people were telling me. It just came to me that they are bad-mouthing me when we were in college. I found out that they are downloading my photos from the infamous friendster and posting it in a groups they made for themselves. I learned that what other people from our high school were telling me were all true. Something else happened, that made me come up to a decision that I don't want to be friends with them anymore. I stayed aloof from them making them so mad at me that. In a party of one of our common friends, thinking that I still need them and seeing that they are being good to me (maybe I'm still naive then), we reconciled. Everything went on so smoothly after that reconciliation, we started going out again, we started being friends again. But I guess, it is fate that came to us, another thing happened that I finally decided that I can't continue my friendship with them. They are still talking behind my back. Making stories about me that aren't true. We were now estranged to each other. And I'm not planning to reconcile with them anymore.

I am so glad that I found the courage to say goodbye to my sharp-tongued friends. They are not worth of anything from me nor I am worth of their backstabbing. I feel relieved that we are not friends anymore. Maybe they are still talking about me, I don't care anymore, at least I'm not friends with them.

I don't understand those people who finds pleasure in backstabbing their friends. Really.

Why can't people refuse being friends with someone who is the subject of their own stories? So dumbass.

As for now, I am happy with my life with them not around me. I am much in peace now.

I hope everyone who experienced the same scenario may find the courage to stay away from those sharp-tongued friends they have, those toxic people and find peace in their decisions. :)

Eat, Pray, Love

Hi everyone! It's been a while since I last updated you with my thoughts. I'm here now to relate to you some of my thoughts out of nowhere.

October 2010, I had a privileged to watch the film version of my favorite book. It's Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love. I've been dying to see the movie since the day it was advertised. I was even more ecstatic that Julia Roberts will be the one playing the lead role with James Franco on the line-up. I had all positive reviews of the book, I read it when I was still in college when a friend lend me her copy. I fell in love with it. I imagined that if ever Hollywood would come up with a movie version I will definitely not miss it. And alas! Early 2010, I got a news from my friend (the same friend who lend me the book) that there will be a film version. I was really excited. It was shown in the US, August 2010 if I'm not mistaken. I tried downloading torrents so I will be able to watch it first before it began its showing here in the Philippines. But unfortunately, I can't find a good copy. So I just waited for October 6, 2010 (the release date of the movie). I asked my cousin to come with me in watching the film and she obliged. Yey!! We watched, and after watching, I felt that the book version is way better. There are moments in the book that were not captured in the film. But I have to give credits to Julia Roberts for acting so well. What can I say? She's Julia Roberts. After watching the film, I told my cousin that I want to do something like what Liz Gilbert did. I want to have my own version of Eat, Pray, Love.

After watching the film, I told my cousin that I want my own version of Eat, Pray, Love. I want to have my own version of soul searching. And now, 2011, I'm making it come true. February 27, 2011 I went to Tagaytay, supposedly by myself alone. But my mom thought I am still a kid that I can't go on my own. So she and my uncle came with me. It's fine. I got little time though to think things over since it's just a sunday getaway. Somehow, I was able to think things over. I went to People's Park in the Sky, watched couples flirting, families having fun,  while my mom and uncle's waiting for me at Pink Sisters. It's quite relaxing for me. I love Tagaytay so much, even if people think that it's becoming overrated. It's "bitin" for me since it's just a 1-day getaway. I need more. Tagaytay would be my Pray part on Eat, Pray, Love.

This coming March 26, I'll be going to Zambales, I'm going Island hopping, go to zoobic safari, watch people surf in Zambales' amazing waves and just have fun. And unfortunately, my mom asked my cousin to accompany me. Ha! She still can't believe that I can do things on my own.  Maybe it'll be my Love part in Eat, Pray, Love. Haha, I don't know. Come what may. :) No drama for me on this trip, I hope. Hehe.

Come April, I'm heading to Quezon province, our real province. I love it there. It's so serene. People are really accommodating. I never get tired of going to Quezon. It's one of my favorite places. If you are familiar with Polillo Island, the island that's on the news everytime we have a really strong storm, yes. That's where I am going this April. I just love my mom's hometown. I love the people, their deep Tagalog accent that I can barely understand, their foods, the beaches, shoreline, everything about the Island is so amazing! I love how my granny cooks food. She can still cook, go to the market, walk fast, do house chores and a lot more even if she's already 82. She's our own wonderwoman. And that will be my Eat part on Eat, Pray, Love.

On May, I will be in Cebu, my mom and I will have our mother's day date there. :) Come June, I will be heading to Baguio. I still don't know what to do there. Come what may again. :)

So there. I'll update you again after every trip that I'll have. Let's all have a good spirit! C'mon people! ♥

Which one?

Months ago, a friend asked me what will I choose: A guy who's rich but ugly or a guy who's good-looking but poor. I wasn't able to answer him right away. I just laughed it off because I really don't know how to answer his question. Couple of days ago, I came to an article over the internet with the same question as the title. I remembered my friend asking me the same question. I still don't know the answer to that.I posted it in my facebook account as a status, some of my friends commented that they'd want someone who's good-looking, just that. Upon knowing my friends' answers were, I somehow realized what I really wanted. But before I reveal my answer, let me just share with everyone my thoughts about the choices presented above.

With a guy who's rich but ugly, he can give me everything if not, anything that his or his parent's money. He can take me to the most expensive places, we can have the most expensive dates, and everything that his money can do. The downside: He's not worth showing if he looks fugly. As what my friend once said, who would want to date someone who looks like a feet or a cow? No one I guess.

With a guy who's good-looking but poor, I can show him off and people will envy me, not knowing he's poor. But knowing he's poor, I can't imagine myself dating a guy and I'll be the one who'll pay for our bill, for our fare, for everything. Again, another friend told me, it's better to have a good-looking date than someone who looks awful.

So who would I choose? Someone who's rich but ugly or good-looking but poor?

I'd choose a good-looking date. Not too poor not too rich. I don't want someone who only asks money from his parents, nor someone who don't have anything at all. I want someone who can stand on his own feet even if he came from a prominent family, someone who knows how to handle things on his own. Someone who has his own way. Someone who knows how to deal with life's uncertainties.

How about you, what will you choose? :)

Life's Soundtrack

Hi All!

I'm back and I'm here to show you videos of songs that moved my life. Enjoy listening!

20. Ugly - Sugababes

"People are all the same, and we only get judged by what we do. Personality reflects name, and if I'm ugly then so are you, so are you."

19. Not Yet a Girl, Not Yet a Woman - Britney Spears

"I'm not a girl, don't tell me what to believe. Not yet a woman. I'm just trying to find the woman in me."

18. Smile - Lily Allen

"I was so lost back then, but with a little help from my friends, I found the light in the tunnel at the end."

17. Battlecry - Shontelle

"We've been through too much, time for us to group up. Come one let's stand up now for us"

16. Unstoppable - Kat De Luna

"You can talk all you want but my skin is really thick, I'm the leader of the crowd and my game is really slick"

15. Fool - Marie Digby

"I wake up next to you, Oh, we're through with it, I fell in love with a fool. And I know I'm not the only one."

14. Everybody's Changing - Keane

"Try to understand that I'm trying to make a move to stay in the game. I try to stay awake and remember my name, but everybody's changing and I don't feel the same."

13. Too Much - Spice Girls

"Too much of something is bad enough, But something's coming over me to make me wonder. Too much of nothing is just as tough. I need to know the way to feel to keep me satisfied."

12. Through the Rain - Mariah Carey

"I can make it through the rain, I can stand up once again, on my own. And I know I'm strong enough to mend. And everytime I feel afraid, I hold tighter to my faith. And I live one more day and I make it through the rain."

11. You Are Not Alone - Michael Jackson

"That you are not alone, for I am here with you. Though you're far away, I am here to stay..."

10. Rich Girl - Gwen Stefani

"All the riches baby, won't mean anything. All the riches baby, won't bring what your love can bring."

9. When It All Falls Apart - The Veronicas

"And not to mention the tears I shed. But I should've kicked your ass instead. I need intervention, attention, stop temptation to scream."

8. Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie

"The path that I'm walkin', I must go alone. I must take baby steps till I'm full grown, full grown."

9. Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield

"Drench yourself in words unspoken. Live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten."

8. Superwoman - Alicia Keys

"For all the mothers fighting, for better days to come, and all my women, all my women sitting here trying."

7. Fighter - Christina Aguilera

"'Cause if not wasn't for all of your torture, I wouldn't know how to be this way now."

6. Beautiful - Christina Aguilera

"You are beautiful in every single way, words can't bring you down."

5. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper

"Some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world. I wanna be the one to walk in the sun. Oh, girls just wanna have fun."

4. Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani

"If I could escape I know I've been a real bad girl, I didn't mean for you to get hurt whatsoever, we can make it better."

3. Better Days - Dianne Reeves

"All the things you ask, you will know someday. But you have got to live in a patient way. God put us here by fate and by fate that means better days."

2. I'm a Woman - Sex and the City 2 cast

"Oh yes i am wise, but it's wisdom born of pain. yes, I've paid the price, but look how much I gained."

1. Firework - Katy Perry

"You don't have to feel like a waste of space. You're original cannot be replaced."

One Flaw of Women

Disclaimer: Again, this is not an original composition. I found this way back college while searching for a topic for our women's studies subject. Happy reading! :)

By the time the Lord made woman, He was into His sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"
And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands.
The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."
But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."
The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?" asked the angel.
The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."
The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."
The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."
And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They havecompassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

However, if there is one flaw in women...

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH!

Sinking in Quicksand

Disclaimer: I read this article in a magazine way back college. It resembles my old story. I felt like I was the one who wrote it.Very much like my story. Those in red were the exactly the same thing that I felt or did before. :)

During the day you are almost inseparable. And when you get home you burn the phone lines talking to him until the wee hours of the morning. You know a lot about him - his childhood, likes, dislikes, moods - you've even memorized the clothes he likes to wear. If there existed a category of him in jeopardy, you would win, hands down.
You can talk to him about anything and he would just listen, without judgment. You've shared beautiful memories together. Everything about your relationship is perfect. Except for one thing.
You know that he is not yours and that most likely, he will never be. Someone has beaten you to his heart and that's a fact you can never change. You just have to accept the reality that you are not his first priority. You are not the one he goes to watch movies with, the one he brings to fmily gatherings or the one whose hands he holds in public. You will never be introduced as his 'girlfriend.'
But even with the immense hurt you feel, you continue seeing him. You try to forget that other part of his life and just enjoy the one he has with you. Even though he never tells you how he feels for you or what he even thinks of you, you don't mind. You never ask anything of him. You just gladly accept what is given. Sometimes you feel sad but what's more important to you is that he is in your life.
If other guys ask you out, you refuse. You stay faithful to him who is not even your boyfriend. As far as you are concerned, he is the only guy in your life. You always do things for him without him having to ask. You show him how much you care and tell him that you will always be there for him. If he does something wrong, all you need is an explanation, and you forgive him and act as if nothing happened.
You try to make him happy even in the simplest of ways. Until the time you again realize that you do have him, but not completely. You do everything just to have him yet you still do not. While he does not do anything yet he has you, the whole of you. You think of saying goodbye. But you know doing that would only hurt you more.
You have a lot of questions but you are afraid to ask. You are afraid of hearing his real answers. You want to hold on to the hope that one day it won't be so complicated; that you will get your 'happily ever after.' You tell yourself you cannot afford to lose him.
You again ignore the heartache, the sadness and all that. You again decide to risk your heart and take the chance.

Pseudo-Relationship

Disclaimer: This is not an original composition, I just found it on my friend's multiply blog years ago and copied it to mine. The time when I copied this was when I am in a pseudo-relationship with someone. Very different from my state now than before. :)

Parang Kayo, Pero Hindi.

She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became
lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends."

They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's
okay. They still date. They still have sex.

They don't see anyone else. It is obvious that they still love each
other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real
score. Even her friends are in the dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi."

She works in a telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are in the
same barkada. They talk on the phone till 4 am. He gives her chocolates,
flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their friends are
suspecting something. Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman?
Why does he hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila magkaholding
hands lagi?Sila kaya?
"He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss
me. Parang kami, pero hindi."

They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch
movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter
books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an
ex jealous. They made out during the company outing in Subic and never
talked about it. He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she
heard him correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing she
is sure of is her feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming
that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too.
There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!

She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both
mountaineers, they became close during their climbs. After a few dates
in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make
out.

They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that "sila
na" but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about it but
it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's important is
I am enjoying this -- whatever it is."

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual
understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo- boyfriends.

Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where
the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers.

Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may
have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your
gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari.
Hindi kayo mag-dyowa.
Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different
reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and
you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. A nd for
reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.

It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong
nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya
kunwa-kunwarian lang muna.

Testing lang.

Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually the
guy --may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon
sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya
ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya
nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung
naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro."

Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala
talagang kasiguraduhan.

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman
sigurado kung may patutunguhan?

Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang.

Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa w ala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom."

Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa
kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that
pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after
for is that "kilig" feeling.

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din
ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't
commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they
weren't ready to commit.

My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong
kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag
tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa
kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the
real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the
emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi
ang lugi.

Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really a relationship,
youcan't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga
ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role
in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if
you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to
yourself.

Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him?
You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na
mahal ka rin niya.

Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't.
Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang.

This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the
relationship.

Or if there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much?

What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't?

What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to
find out that he is seeing other girls?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a
disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be
the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan
ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan.

Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me,"
hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh.
Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo- relationship, hindi
mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be
miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out
eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody
else.

Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then
you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.

Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh.
Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the
feeling, without thinking of the consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the
process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment
without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with
pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy,
a friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka.
Magpakasaya ka.Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil
 tatadyakan kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo.

Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero
hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang
siya ...

almost, but not quite.

Got from facebook.com